Talisman
by Cindy Ryan
Summary: As talisman went it was pathetic, but if it kept her sane Lucy would take any help she could get. Post winter finale


Title: Talisman

author: Cindy Ryan

Spoilers: all

The darkness was smothering. Officer Lucy Chen was pretty sure she'd gone crazy. She'd long ago lost track of time. Could've been hours or days since Caleb had sealed the barrel and buried her alive. Though with the thinning air Lucy was laying odds on hours rather than days. Days she'd be dead and not constantly thinking of iced coffee. Iced coffee with two generous squirts of vanilla. As talisman went it was pathetic. The coffee held no magical powers except perchance to keep her awake on a twelve hour shift. Or to keep her from snapping at her partner. It may not have magical powers but it was her go to; her happy place in a cup. A hysterical sob worked it's way out and Lucy hiccuped. She beat the top of the barrel once more even though her strength was fading. Lucy thought of her friends; her family. Their faces gave her strength to hold out just a little longer. One more minute; her mind chanted. One more minute. Then another.

The plastic coffee cup with a straw looked so real that Lucy almost reached out to grab it. Almost; she held herself in check. Though the realization that she was reaching for an imaginary cup of coffee caused tears to start again. The darkness was suffocating for a panicked moment Lucy couldn't draw in enough air. Her hands scraped the wood above that held her captive. The result caused the fresh wound on her side to ache and twinge in pain. Anger coursed through Lucy and she kicked out with her left foot instantly regretting the moment as her whole body screamed in pain from being contorted.

As she began to feel overwhelmed Lucy sought out her talisman once more. When she did a memory surfaced. The first paintball outing since Tim had been cleared for active duty after the quarantine. Their team had lost one and won one. They'd gone to a nearby coffee shop afterwards even though it'd been ninety plus degrees. She and Tim had both gotten an iced coffee. Lucy had her usual while Tim's had a shot of caramel . Lucy had sank into her seat and sucked down the first swallow closing her eyes in pure bliss. She'd heard Tim's chuckle and opened her eyes and swallowed lifting her head from the cup.

_'What?'Lucy had asked with a mock glare._

_Tim had shaken his head smiling._

_'I've seen guys look at beer that way.'Tim had commented._

_'This is my bit of heaven.'Lucy had admonished. 'Shush.'_

Tim's laughter rang in her ears now as the memory faded. Lucy felt tears on her cheeks and sniffled. She knew as much as she drew her next breath that her LAPD family was scouring the city looking for her. Lucy knew they wouldn't give up; especially her T.O. As silly as it was Lucy clung to her talisman, that iced coffee and focused on the goal that she would have it again. That she would get out of this hell. That her life was not ending here.

* * *

A week after her rescue Lucy was still on leave. It was six am and Tim was meeting her at a coffee shop by her apartment before he started shift. Lucy had gotten their coffees and a couple bagels and now sat at an outside table. The weather was a perfect typical California day. Lucy tilted her head up to the sun and closed her eyes. She'd found herself doing that a lot since her rescue. Needing the warmth of the sun. Footsteps drew Lucy's attention and she opened her eyes seeing Tim approach the table. She smiled at her partner and he returned the smile as he sat down.

"Morning."Tim greeted as he picked up the iced coffee.

"Morning."Lucy responded as she took a half of bagel.

Lucy didn't miss the once over Tim gave her. He thought he was being quick but she'd known him too long.

"How'd you sleep?"Tim asked as he picked up the other half of bagel.

Memories of the nightmares threatened and Lucy shoved them away. They didn't belong here in her sunshine.

"Fine."Lucy replied automatically.

Tim raised an eyebrow.

"Better."Lucy admitted softly taking a long sip of coffee.

After she was released from the hospital she'd rewarded herself with the iced coffee. So this was her fourth since the rescue, but Lucy figured whatever helped her fight the demons.

Tim nodded. Lucy saw the flash of emotion that her T.O tried to hide. Jackson had filled Lucy in on how her kidnapping had affected Tim. How much he'd blamed himself. Lucy reached across the table and briefly covered Tim's free hand with her right one. She met his gaze.

"I'm okay."Lucy stated firmly.

Tim's gaze didn't waiver. She could tell he didn't believe her. That he knew she had a long way to go. They both knew that. For that moment; in the sunshine with her talisman Lucy could say she was okay.

end


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